Divorcing A Toddler

Due to state budget cuts, and families moving or losing employment I have lost eight children from my childcare in the past six weeks or so.

It varies with the family, but in most cases I imagine this is what it would feel like to get a divorce. You untangle ownership of belongings: baby equipment, forgotten toys and books, blankets, leftover diapers, wipes, spare sets of clothing and stray socks.  Suddenly things that were routine cares are no longer any of your business. Some responsibilities you are glad to relinquish; others feel like they might leave a scar. And as you watch them go, and in the middle of the night in the weeks that follow, you ask yourself: Did I do enough? Was I kind enough? Did I really put my all into that relationship or could I have done better?

It happens every time and it always surprises me.

And then a one-gallon kid brings up two gallons of breakfast on my shoes and I don’t care who the spare set of clothing belongs to anymore. It’s all Clorox and balance books and don’t-lick-the-window-come-out-of-the-fridge-your-shirt’s-inside-out-sit-down-at-the-table again. Life has a way of moving on into the uncertain future and dragging you along with it whether you planned on attending or not.