How (Not) to Start a Weekend

Leave work at 3:00 pm, and proceed directly to picking a lock on a county building.

Enlist large male to pry off the door trim and try to jimmy the lock.

Give up.

Delegate breaking and entering to elderly woman you met only yesterday.

Give her your keys, and go home.

Try to hack into your “official” email for two hours.

Gain access and realize the expensive, official email client provided can’t send emails with attachments. Which was the point.

Nor can it send anything except plain, unformatted text.

Not even a bulleted list or a table. Or italics.

Transfer all relevant contacts into a new, free email account.

Write 93 emails. Respond to 57.

Delete voicemails based on area code.

Make breakfast burritos for dinner.

Call students’ parents.

Write students’ parents.

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in one sitting–in front of a computer.

At 9:45 pm.


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