Three Words

I have a  job interview.

Yes. Me. Friday. Interview. Noon.

Turns out it does pay to carry your phone obsessively in one hand for four months straight. Because whoever is calling for an interview might give up after two rings and go on to the next candidate on his list. It could happen.

You know what I’m most terrified I’ll do? (Besides show up without a shirt on, of course; I imagine that would be awkward.) I’ll think it’s actually Thursday on Friday. Or I’ll know it’s Friday, but I’ll get ready so early I’ll begin reading “Chesapeake” or something and forget what I’m all dressed up for. Not that I’d ever do something like that…

Well. That or not come up with a good answer for that most predictable and yet confounding of all interview questions: “List three words that best describe you.”

The first three that always come to mind are um, well, and  huh.

See? Not terribly impressive.

What are they looking for with that question? A headline writer? A telegraph operator? Someone to compose the text for small valentine candies? I guess I don’t think of myself in terms of isolated adjectives.

I think we should have a contest: Submit Three, we’ll call it. Contest closing date: August 3 at 10 a.m., PST

Best three adjectives wins a pumpkin.

(Payable this fall. By accepting this prize, you release Payee from all obligation to deliver just one pumpkin and agree to accept all pumpkins deemed earned by you and included in the delivery, at payee’s discretion.)

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