Unsolved Mysteries

Watched Freaky Friday last night with my kids. The one that is as old as me.

Yes, they had color television the year I was born, dear ones.

Do you ever thank God it is physically impossible to relive your past? True, there could be a bit of fun had, sitting in junior high, interacting with teachers who I now know were just poor, confused, fresh out of college schmucks themselves, playacting at being grown up.

But ugh. To really relive it?

For four months now, I have been reading my journal entries from each day twenty years previous to the one I’m now living, and let me tell you it’s a trip. Beyond a trip. I was one unorthodox teen.

Maybe they’re all like that, and I’m the only one who took time to write it down, but I don’t think so. I don’t see my children agonizing over the intricate issues of life and death that consumed my every waking moment.

Seriously, what fifteen year old that you know owns dozens of journals, filled with years of  unsolved philosophical questions?

(And why haven’t I solved them yet?)


5 responses to “Unsolved Mysteries

  • psphoenix

    You mean questions like- if we harnessed all the energy in the Toronto ball fields…:)

    • kimberlybbert

      Hah. Yeah, there were those in there, too. But it wasn’t all just idle hypothesizing–I was devastated by my inability to solve insolvable problems and to be the kind of person I wanted to be in an imperfect world. I actually wrote that I wished that I could eliminate myself completely, just be annihilated both body and soul, rather than coexist with such impossibilities. But I knew that was impossible–and that was even more depressing.

      • psphoenix

        Sounds like a normal teenager—except maybe not quite that intellectual. Plus, I think most teenagers think of themselves. ALL the time, believing that they ARE the center of the universe. Not trying to figure out unsolvable puzzles, and recognise their insignificance. But the devistation that you felt as a teen was totally normal for any teenager- even though you arrived there by different thoughts.

  • Alicia

    XD I’ve always written in a journal. Sometimes I wonder why I even keep them. Maybe to humiliate myself even after I’m dead. XD

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