Monthly Archives: October 2010

Wednesday Whine

So…. It’s Wednesday.

I’d tell you my five mile time, but I didn’t go running last night. Or the night before. Went to bed at six pm, and stayed there. I wake up feeling better except for a bit stuffy, but by about three pm, my bones feel like they are about to shatter, and my head is about to pop. I know, whine, whine, whine. It’s contagious; I caught it, along with this cold, from the midgets.

But seriously, not going running this week. It’s hard enough to breathe with sandpaper in my throat at this point. I have no idea how much ground I’m going to lose with this thing–is running like riding a bike? Do you pick it up again after a break? Or will I have to start from square one?


Greetings, from under the sea.

Okay. Not really. It just feels like I’m wading along, under several thousand feet of water. Head cold, etc.

Should you run when you’re sick?

Uchtdorf said no. I heard him.

Heil Mein Fuhrer

We had a new teacher Friday night.


The woman handed us a 21 page syllabus. She timed our bathroom breaks. I kid you not. You have no idea how slow an automatic towel dispenser takes to grind out an itty bitty square of paper until there is a woman with a stop watch down the hall timing your bodily functions.

Her (freely admitted, mind you) goal is that this class, her class, be the bucket of ice-water flung in our complacent, graduate faces.


She also had us build eye glasses out of construction paper and glitter glue though, so apparently we’re going to get in touch with our inner child, too. Maybe throw around a bit of ice water ourselves. Who knows.

If You Give a Kid A…

If you give a kid a nap mat, she will sleep on the floor next to it. Every time:

If you give a kid a bucket, she will wear it on her head:

If you give a kid a helmet, he’ll probably wear it, but not necessarily the way you envisioned he would:

If you lie on your back and give the infant in your arms enough altitude, she will vomit:

If you give a group of children enough dirt, one of them will end up interred:

Even if you give your child’s nose a really good wiping, right before you come in the door, if you give him a couple more minutes, the truth will come out–usually about the time he sneezes:

If you give a child a bit of earth and some water, he’ll give you the world:

If you give a child a smore, well, what did you expect?

If you offer books, all the children who reach the bucket after the kid who claims it as her sailing vessel, will probably read them:

If you point out the existence of hole to a child, he will put his finger in it:

If you give a kid enough freedom, he will create his own universe:

If you can get a kid to hold still for thirty seconds, you will find out just how tired they really are:

If you give a kid a hose, he will spray his brother:

If your kid gives you a hat, wear it with as much dignity as you can muster (especially if she made them, herself):

No matter what you give children, they will find a way to make it into a fort:

And, finally, no matter what you give children, and no matter which way you look at it, they will always have more energy than the adults: