Jettisoning the Pencil

Running didn’t feel so great yesterday.

Not that it ever really feels that great. But usually I warm up after a mile or so and lose the I think I’m going to vomit or die feeling, and afterwards, I trudge up the driveway to my back door and get in the shower feeling pretty good about myself.

Not this time. Not so much.

I”m going to blame it on the pencil that fell out of my hair about a quarter of a mile out. What do you do with a full-sized, fully sharpened pencil at that point? It won’t stay in your hair; it’s not like you can run with it in your pocket–assuming you have pockets, which I did not. Besides, everyone knows you shouldn’t run with pencils. You might end up looking like this:

Okay, that was a fork. But you get the idea. I know I was holding it eraser side up. Because what else do you do with it? Toss it in the ditch? (It’s biodegradable, right?) But how do you just…casually throw a pencil on somebody’s property? At what point do you jettison the thing? I’ve never felt more conspicuous in my life. Not to mention that this is my pencil: I keep it in my hair so that nobody else can get their grubby little hands on it.

Never mind that I know where 96 more are; this one is sharpened, and it still has an eraser.

I’m telling you, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I do have to admit that about the time my left shoulder (yeah, my shoulder!) felt like it was going to explode, I finally hurled the thing into a vacant lot. (Hey. I picked up an entire bag of trash last week at the playground that nobody related to me, or in my care, put on the ground. That has to make up for one lousy Ticonderoga pencil.)

Any runners out there want to explain to me why my shoulder would hurt like the blazes while I was running? Walking, even? Limping pitifully the last half a mile home?

Anyway.  I realized that it’s a really good thing I don’t have a treadmill; when you’re three miles from home  and you really just want to lay down and die, the asphalt really isn’t as inviting as, say, my carpet–or even my tile–might be. And there is the traffic to consider.

One can’t just collapse anywhere.

So here’s to the great outdoors. Not only is it free (assuming you ignore my property tax statement), but it keeps you honest. No cheating out there.

9 responses to “Jettisoning the Pencil

  • kimkiminy

    Your shoulder? Are you feeling better now? No heart attacks?

  • Freedom Smith

    Eeeegggaaaddsss! That picture is horrendous. Poor guy!

    Your shoulder was getting jared while you ran? That is one theory. Perhaps you should have been able to stop when you were hurting like that. I hope the pain has gone away!

    • kimberlybbert

      It did. My whole arm feels a little strange, though. I think I might have somehow pinched a nerve or something and just don’t notice it until, like you say, the jostling motion of running aggravates it. I don’t know. Didn’t get out today. Yet. And it’s really dark already… And I’m blog surfing instead of running… Now is when a treadmill would be really great.

  • kimkiminy

    BTW, that picture made me laugh. Yes, I know. Straight. To. Hell.

    • kimberlybbert

      No, no heart attack, though I have to admit, that did cross my mind…

      Hell? Are you kidding? Anyone who doesn’t laugh at that picture probably doesn’t have kids, and has some twisted sense of how “precious” they are. These same sort of people write really sentimental tripe for hallmark.

      I love kids, and they are precious, but come on! That’s a funny picture–especially if you have ever delivered a “don’t run with that” lecture, or received one from your own parents.

  • Alicia

    Oh Dear! XD I want to go running tonight, or at least find my way to my gym. We’ll see after all this darn homework!!!

  • Louise

    How far do you run? I am up to 5 k’s at the moment.

    • kimberlybbert

      Haha. I’m lucky if I make a mile and a half, total. And it’s getting darker earlier every day. I might have to get a treadmill, much as I’d like not to, or I’ll have to either quit running, or quit my job…

  • jayne crook

    Sometimes my shoulder hurts too. More like a deep burning feeling. I’ve always thought heart attack too. But. I’m still alive. And now it is few and far between if it hurts. Usually it doesn’t. My shoulders are also where I carry all my stress. I like to think it is all that pent up stress trying to work its way out of my body 🙂

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