Running didn’t feel so great yesterday.
Not that it ever really feels that great. But usually I warm up after a mile or so and lose the I think I’m going to vomit or die feeling, and afterwards, I trudge up the driveway to my back door and get in the shower feeling pretty good about myself.
Not this time. Not so much.
I”m going to blame it on the pencil that fell out of my hair about a quarter of a mile out. What do you do with a full-sized, fully sharpened pencil at that point? It won’t stay in your hair; it’s not like you can run with it in your pocket–assuming you have pockets, which I did not. Besides, everyone knows you shouldn’t run with pencils. You might end up looking like this:
Okay, that was a fork. But you get the idea. I know I was holding it eraser side up. Because what else do you do with it? Toss it in the ditch? (It’s biodegradable, right?) But how do you just…casually throw a pencil on somebody’s property? At what point do you jettison the thing? I’ve never felt more conspicuous in my life. Not to mention that this is my pencil: I keep it in my hair so that nobody else can get their grubby little hands on it.
Never mind that I know where 96 more are; this one is sharpened, and it still has an eraser.
I’m telling you, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I do have to admit that about the time my left shoulder (yeah, my shoulder!) felt like it was going to explode, I finally hurled the thing into a vacant lot. (Hey. I picked up an entire bag of trash last week at the playground that nobody related to me, or in my care, put on the ground. That has to make up for one lousy Ticonderoga pencil.)
Any runners out there want to explain to me why my shoulder would hurt like the blazes while I was running? Walking, even? Limping pitifully the last half a mile home?
Anyway. I realized that it’s a really good thing I don’t have a treadmill; when you’re three miles from home and you really just want to lay down and die, the asphalt really isn’t as inviting as, say, my carpet–or even my tile–might be. And there is the traffic to consider.
One can’t just collapse anywhere.
So here’s to the great outdoors. Not only is it free (assuming you ignore my property tax statement), but it keeps you honest. No cheating out there.