Decisions, Decisions

We have a piece of furniture in our house and every child who has ever visited, within minutes of crossing our threshold has found their way to this cupboard and discovered that if you nudge the door just so, not only will it bang shut with a lovely echo, but it will promptly pop ajar, ready for another go. 
Every kid figures this out. If they can walk, crawl or roll, they will make their way over to the door and begin banging it. They will bang it with their feet while they read, with their backs while they play legos, with their hands while they stare into space–just so long as the reassuring bang, bang, bang never is silenced.
"Stop banging the door" falls onto deaf ears, of course, so we thought we'd thwart them with some of those little rubber stick-on door cushioners. They either fell off or were removed. We bought white felt ones that came with an adhesive strong enough you could lift a mini-van with it and put them on in the dead of night–stealth like. They matched the paint exactly; I couldn't even see them. 
The toddlers picked every pad off, the first day. Bang! Bang! Bang!

Wood screws? 

They don't actually use the cupboard for anything else, honestly. Okay, they climb it and jump from the top; they hide behind the doors when their parents come to pick them up;  the babies like to empty the toys from the bottom drawer and sit in it; it's an indoor jungle gym. It's a ridiculously large Lego box. 
Someone just dumped 16oz of dry roasted peanuts on my feet. Well. It was knocked out of her hand by the two who are playing "tunnel tag" between my feet.  Did I mention that I don't buy peanuts? This same child brought a 16oz jar of peanut butter complete with dinner fork with her for breakfast last week. Yum.
Moral dilemma: the choking prone children are asleep and I just finished mopping an hour ago. Do I a) pick up one million peanuts by hand and replace them in the jar (grrrr!) b) sweep up the peanuts and throw them away (wasteful) c)make the children pick up the peanuts (hahahahaha–yeah right)  d) let the fowl of the floor eat as many peanuts as they please and skip snacktime d) made a paste from the peanuts and glue the cupboard door closed. 
Bang! Bang! Bang!

The broom wins–as any good housewife knows: if in doubt throw it out, right? Hmmmm. I wonder if the cupboard will fit in the trash . . . I bet the door would.

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