Who, Why, the DEL, and Coma-inducing Computerized Card Games

I saw this shirt once that said, "Who are all these little people, and why do they keep calling me 'Mom'?"

I thought this was funny. Because I had six of my own, and everyonce in a while it did feel like, wait a minute, when did this happen–surely I didn't give birth that many times!

But now I have this new two year old here, who last week started calling me "Mom". Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom Mom. So now all the children are starting to call me Mom. And not just Mom, but Momomomomomomomomomom.

I don't think that shirt is all that amusing anymore.

Anyway. That wasn't the original intent of this post. It just took took me an hour to actually get logged on to my computer because of all the momming going on. My real intent was to share with you a few incongruities you might have never known about the WAC (Washington state Administrative Code) for licensed childcare providers, and the USDA food program:

  1. A provider is required, by law, to have on the premises an unexpired bottle of ipecac syrup; and
  2. A provider is prohibited, by law from administering ipecac syrup. We keep it under lock and key, in order to satisfy both requirements. Ipecac syrup is no longer stocked at most pharmacies, and so incredibly difficult to obtain, that rule makers recently ammended the WAC to allow us to have an expired bottle on hand. Under lock and key.
  3. Technically, I need a signed medical waiver to apply any over-the-counter meds–including diaper ointment and sunscreens, and the waiver expires monthly. I'm so in violation over this one.
  4. A provider can serve your child fritters, donuts, poptarts, sweet rolls, cinnamon rolls and coffee cake for breakfast, but
  5. A provider can not serve Honey Nut Cheerios, Raisin Bran, or any other cereal, including oatmeal, that contains more than nine grams of sugar per serving.
  6. Nor do eggs, cheese, ham, yogurt or any other form of protien count as a creditable food source for breakfast–in otherwords, Uncle Sam says Krispie Kremes are preferable to, say, an egg and cheese omelette.
  7. Once a week a provider can serve cookies–any kind of cookies, including double fudge brownies–as a creditable snack. But again, not a bowl full of Cheerios and milk.
  8. A provider who accepts state subsidized children must financially support the United States democratic party and any other social cause deemed worthwhile by the SIEU through payment of either union dues (2% of income) or equivalent payments made under protest, but made, monthly and on time.

Need I go on, really? No? Good, because it's taken me three hours to peck this out in between various biohazard explosions, emergency refueling (oooh, look, breakfast is cleaned up, we must be famished!), games of roly-poly, peek-a-boo, and momomomomomomomomomomom's.

I'm not complaining–answering to Mom and all the various tasks appended to that are my job, after all–blogging meanwhile just keeps my brain awake, and if it takes me all day to write one post, well, C'est la vie. One of the genetically related mommers once insinuated that I spend too much time blogging–if only they knew how long it takes to get through a paragraph at this rate. This is my one vice, okay? I don't even read MSN or check the NASDAQ anymore. I tried computer solitaire once–thinking it would be infinitely easier with one hand than typing; and much less frustrating when a little finger pushed the power button midway through–but I almost slipped into a coma, and I think the DEL might frown on that.   

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5 responses to “Who, Why, the DEL, and Coma-inducing Computerized Card Games

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