I have had three families call/come over today wanting childcare for three children in each family–all three families have a year old, a four-year old, and a nine year old. How bizarre is that? By the time I got the third phone call, I was beginning to think someone was playing a joke on me. But no, the children were real children; I met them. Still not sure who, if any, to accept.
Seems like I had something to say.
I've decided I'm a little like this mysterious houseplant someone gave me years ago. I can't kill it, no matter how cruel the treatment. It was even stuck behind a pile of lumber in my psuedo kitchen/family room for six months without water. It got dusty and stopped growing, but it didn't die. Didn't even drop very many leaves, actually. And as soon as the barricades came down and I watered it, lo and behold–tiny little green leaves appear, all over the thing. How is that possible?
Let me just here thank God for blessing me with hope like that plant. Throughout my life, circumstances or my own choices have at times conspired to starve my spirit for weeks, months at a stretch. I get dusty and stop growing, but I'm still here. And the moment I pick myself up and shake off the dust, I feel hope and life renewed, right where I left off and I grow again, little bits, throughout my life. I don't understand why I should be so blessed, but such is my nature–undeserved, unearned, but proved, over and over.
I realize that I have expected other people (read: husband, children, etc) to be like me–to survive adversity, no matter how much dust accumulates, no matter how fierce the unabated thirst, and to respond immediately to the first hint of hope. Maybe not so realistic–maybe they are more like those flowering houseplants you have to water twice a week or they wilt to nothing. It isn't that they are genetically defective–just different.
I'll probably never produce anything equivalent to their blooms–but I'll still be here, accumulated dust and all, and hey, there's something to that, isn't there?
Oh, and p.s. Still no idea what CPU stands for. Had three apointments and kept on the lookout for anything that might fit, but nothing cropped up. I think I'm in the clear at this point.